Wednesday, November 18, 2009

Wordless Wednesday not so Wordless today- At a loss for words

Not even sure where to start this post...

You might have noticed that I have been completely absence from the blogsphere this week... I have so much stuff to post but a lack of drive to sit at the computer and type... In fact, I have some giveaways I HAVE to post but other than that I don't know if I will post much this week either...

If you remember from last WW Grandpa Shenanigans was placed in the ICU and all we can do it sit here, wait for news from home, and pray... Then we got the phone call that things are not looking good for Grandma Shenanigans and they are giving her 1-5 days...

Needless to say this.... well..... sucks...

I feel so bad because I can't find the words to say when talking on the phone... Saying "This SUCKS" feels so right but sounds so wrong... You can tell how worn out my FIL is and how this is just tearing him up.. He has been dealing with so much and now this... Not just him but everyone down there has just got to be broken up about this... Yet, here we sit almost 2000 thousand miles away and all we can do is say a few words into a phone... and those words can't even express how much we wish we could be there...

What is worst..... Is that I think it will be a blessing when Grandma takes her final breath... Sounds horrid but it's how I feel... She has Alzheimer's/Dementia and has been in a home for a while now... She isn't the Grandma she was... That in it self was heartbreaking... Although I do wish I could have been around to see her chewing out the staff in Czech... (just trying to lighten things up) Things have been getting worst medically and I know it's so horrid to say but really I think she would be in a better place...

What is even worst than that.... Is I have always thought that when one goes the other would be right behind... Yet, Grandpa seemed to be doing fine... Then he started having problems and I have to wonder if it was because Grandma wasn't at home anymore... Now this...

So, here we sit... waiting.... praying.... hoping that the next phone call isn't THAT one....

DH has his uniform ready.... He has made his command aware of what is going on... Now we just have to hope that IF he needs to go they will let him... FIL is ready to do the calls he has to on his end also...

I have told my mother that if I call her and can't talk and hang up then she know why I called... I could barely tell her and DH that Grandma Shenanigans only had a few days... So I knew that come that day I wouldn't be able to talk...

My FIL does read this blog so I know at some point in time he will read this... I can only hope that he sees just how much we wish we were there... How we have been thinking of them everyday.... How I have been trying to find something to send to them via snail mail so that they have something to hold in their hands and know we are there... How I wish I could say more on the phone... How much we love them and just well you get the point..

Okay honestly, I'm sniffling and crying... So, before I get any more emotional.... Here is a picture of Grandpa and Grandma Shenanigans... This is how I hope to always remember them....





14 comments:

  1. I'm so sorry, I don't even know what to say. My thoughts and prayers are with your entire family. Hang in there and take care.

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  2. I'm so sorry hon. It's so difficult to deal with especially when you are not nearby. I'm thinking of you. xxx

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  3. I am so sorry. We'll be thinking of you and keeping you and Grandma and Grandpa Shenanigans in our prayers.

    The picture of them is beautiful.

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  4. So sorry to hear about your dear grandparents. The picture of them is so sweet! I will keep your family in prayer.

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  5. Oh no. I am so terribly sad and so sorry. Loss of a loved one is just awful, whether it's unexpected or you have some time to prepare. I hope you and your hubby can feel the love from the blogosphere and know we're thinking of you. {Hugs}

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  6. Nothing is easy when it comes to dealing with this! I am sorry! I will keep you in my prayers!

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  7. It's hard when this time comes, even if it's partly a relief to the person hanging in there. Hard for the loved ones to wait, hard to be there, hard to not be there.

    Sending prayers for all of you.

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  8. You are so right about the expression sounding so wrong but being so right for something like this. It's overwhelming to go through, now wonder you have lost your initiative to write. You did pretty well once you got started. Remember they'd want to to feel happy no matter what. I feel we ought to celebrate passing as the grand finale of what begins with conception and at birth a Wonderful Life. So sorry for your heartache and stress.

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  9. I am so terribly sorry. I know Alzheimer's can be extremely difficult and wearing on family members, so I have heard people say that it was harder to lose them to the disease, than to actual death. That final peace can be a blessing.

    I will be praying for you all during this time.

    (((hugs)))

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  10. I'm so sorry. All I can say is during this very difficult time don't forget to think about all the wonderful memories they'd want you to be thinking of. I'll be thinking of you and your family, and that your hubs' leave will be approved so you can all be together.

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  11. Our thoughts and prayers are with you at this very sad time.
    Alz is tough it's often as though your loved one is taken from you twice when death finally does occur.

    They looked a special couple in the photos.

    Sorry x

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  12. I am SO sorry! (I'm also sorry I just made it to read any blog posts from the past 4 days, because I could have been praying for you all this time...).
    I am praying hard now and hoping you and your family are feeling some comfort at this time. Hugs to you all.

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  13. I am so deeply sorry, Brooke. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family.

    My Grandma has dementia, and it's been very hard, so I can sort of empathize with you. It's heartbreaking.

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